The same change of clothes for several days, a sturdy travel towel and a best guess from week to week when and where you'll get to do a load of laundry.
Just when you think you can unpack a bag and settle for a few days in one place, life turns, plans change, and the world turns on the head of a screw in a new direction.
I'm learning to hold my plans like sand in a sieve. It has almost become a joke to say "my plans".
And yet, I know I must rejoice, in the midst of all the uncertainties and shifting. For I have chosen this life, it is worth it, to give up little things for God. This is a life lived for Jesus, not for me, I remind myself.
I could have a great job, comforts, my nice bed, and the beautiful furniture and house and car. But instead, God has given me no job but to serve Him, little surprising comforts like the gift basket a friend gave me with new razors and shampoos and little nice things I was thrilled to have. I get church floors and twin beds, and every once in a while a nice plush mattress I just melt into. I have a car to use, it sometimes doesn't start up but in the end it always does. The homes I stay in are modest and full of love. The families that I break bread with are quick to share their food with me. I never go without. God looks after His children.
Physical needs are met; yet sometimes spiritually a feeling of unsatiated hunger lingers too long from trying to find rest in unrestful spiritual atmospheres. We dust the cobwebs as best we can.
Sometimes we can't wait to move on. Sometimes we wonder what we can do or why we are there, how we alone could possibly change things. I've been in this place. And the answer is I can't. I would run. But I know with Jesus all things are possible. He's there in my weakest hour. He can turn dark atmospheres around.
And what can I do? I can love. Some of the most wounded people are the people in the family of God. Plodding along for years with battle wounds they never dressed. God sends reinforcements to set up spiritual triage and walk alongside them, for a season. The battle is real, the battle is fierce. It can be very lonely.
Even though at times we can feel alone, it is because we are sojourners. Nomads in a foreign world. Don't let yourself get carried downstream defeated. Put on power, love, and a sound mind in place of fear. Know when to fight and when to rest. Find people you feel safe with and rest. Don't kamikaze on the frontlines. I've been feeling like that a lot lately and I know I need to retreat. Rest in Abba's strong arms. Run to His Peace, find rest in His Strongtower. Where the Spirit of The Lord is there is freedom. We are not conformed to the patterns of this world but we are transformed. Run after God and He will always give you a place of refuge. In Him.
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Be blessed. Live today as if it is your last.
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