God has put on my heart to write a book about Revelation 12:11 and yet I feel like I'm in college again, grasping at any opportunity to distract myself. In college I vacuumed my ceiling on a regular basis, I think I even cleaned the common showers... telling myself I was thinking and processing, keeping my hands busy and my mind uncluttered. But here I am again, with no excuses.
I'm in the quietest part of the entire planet. The South Island of New Zealand, with nothing but sheep and mountains and green fields and farms all around me. Me, the girl from New York, it looks like I have finally got my peace and quiet. A house to reclude to, a car to get around in, a laptop the local church has lent to me, a phone I didn't have before...all of these things totally provided by Abba for me.
Such abundant favour I'm feeling....
and such amazing demonic attack. If my thoughts are focused for two combined minutes on "the book", I toss it back and forth in my hands like a hot potato. I find my mind drifting on tangents. I find anything to busy myself. A movie, gardening, painting, evangelising, connecting with friends online. Nothing bad, just not exactly plumbline with my marching orders. Kinda like Jonah. The hardest thing to do these last few weeks is to...write. After just completing an intense and awesome 6-month discipleship practicum with an unbelievably great Christian missions training organization, right now I really just need to hear Daddy God and, well, I need to do what He asked me to. My friend Sam reminded me of that, and it snapped me into focus.
So what do I do? I identify the problem, and that's simply that I'm supposed to be doing what God asked me to do, and I need to trust Him that the words will come. I can't revert to my old ways of thinking, that it's up to me to devise a killer book for me. That's my old self, my old way of being. I used to struggle with that. I need to hold firmly to the truth that I can do nothing apart from God and that if He's asked me to do this, then He's gonna show me how. My old ways, my vacuuming the ceiling ways, are crucified and I can't let my mind go back there.
With God's strength and help, I will set my mind to do what He's asked of me. I will write, because it'll do me a whole lotta good to practice the fine art of follow through. Obedience. Focus. And trust. Tis best to follow the ax-head principle, as Elijah did. When you're not hearing God's voice, go back to the last thing He asked you to do, and do it.
I value your prayers, and I leave you with this provoking thought, as I'm reminded of it, yet again-
"Wherever you go,
there you are."
That phrase has followed me for years. You can't get away from yourself. While this may seem sometimes depressing in light of the depravity of the flesh, there is a brilliant light at the end of a sidewinding tunnel.
You can't get away from your Loving Father! That is the most beautiful thing ever. Where can I go, that You won't seek me there? In the depths you are there, in the heights you are there, Lord!
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